Cutie-0215
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Well uh it's been awhile
1 min read
So to make this short and sweet - I haven't posted in a long time.
Should I start posting stuff again? Either full pics, or just start showing some updated refrences, or something? Any interest from ya'll folks watching me?
Should I start posting stuff again? Either full pics, or just start showing some updated refrences, or something? Any interest from ya'll folks watching me?
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Okay SOOOOO
4 min read
I doubt people care, I kinda wanna explain stuff that happened to try and make myself sorta feel better. Let it go, you know? (If you mention the song in the comments I will block you.)
Joel and I had slowly stopped talking, partially my fault, partially hers. I feel bad because yes, I did not talk to her as much as I should. My reasoning though: I felt unneeded and unwanted. If I found out about ANYTHING from her, it was through her tumblr and not her telling me herself.
On April 22 of this year, Joel contacted me, worried and scared I would flip at her, explaining that she wanted to break up, because she had stopped loving me as a girlfriend, and only cared for me as a friend. I understood, and said that it was fine we broke up, and that she should mention it on tumblr as a just in case - I know some people enjoy gifts. At this time, she said (Quoted):
[22/04/2014 4:14:28 PM] Joel: Can we still be friends? Because I'd hate it if we couldn't be friends.
I agreed instantly, as I seen no reason as to why we couldn't.
Around the next day, one of my good friends told me that within HOURS of myself and my now-ex breaking up, she had hooked up with somebody else. I will admit now, I over-reacted to it. I blew up at her, because I felt hurt and betrayed. To me, it was too soon. It seemed planned she broke up with me, just to go date somebody else. For this, I later apologized.
Now, I told my friends, who were also friends with her and didn't go on tumblr often, as they should know in case they ever decided to draw something for my birthday or something, that drawing a picture of my main character with Joel's was not fair. I explained that we had a fair break up, and that she was also with somebody else, as that to me also seemed important.
And this is where things went downhill
My friend who told me about Joel dating somebody else in hours blew up at her. I am glad he did, because if he bottled it up it would only stress him more than he needs, and it would have been unfair. Joel argued back to defend herself (Which is also fair, I'm glad she did, she doesn't need to lie down and take shit all the time)
And then her boyfriend got involved in the WORST WAY.
Instead of politely saying "Guys, I get it, that was too soon, but lay off, it's not fair to Joel" he flat out said "Joel's feelings should be all that matter"
...Yep. He went THERE of all places.
Saying to my friends who were mad she had the guts to do something that hurt me emotionally and the little self-esteem I had "You need to shut up because your friend doesn't matter."
To the people who know that I have had some serious issues in the past about cutting.
To people who were worried I would do something stupid like I have in the past.
And as such, everything just got so much worse. My friends got even more pissed with Joel's new boyfriend, and because of it, more at Joel.
And then Joel told me she never wanted to talk to me again.
AFTER SAYING THAT SHE WOULD HATE NOT GETTING TO BE MY FRIEND, SHE TURNED AROUND AND TOLD ME THAT NO, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN.
If that wasn't enough for me to feel hurt about, she said that I was not a good friend and nothing that anybody did would change her mind. Before posting a 'reminder' that you can cut toxic people from your life.
Because of timing, I am going with my reasoning of she was meaning that towards me.
As such, I've been very hurt, and very distressed about this.
Not long after her reminder though, I got together with Blackwind, who has been making sure that I'm behaving, not hurting myself and trying to make sure I'm still happy as I can be after loosing somebody who was so close to me.
And that is what you all missed.
Joel and I had slowly stopped talking, partially my fault, partially hers. I feel bad because yes, I did not talk to her as much as I should. My reasoning though: I felt unneeded and unwanted. If I found out about ANYTHING from her, it was through her tumblr and not her telling me herself.
On April 22 of this year, Joel contacted me, worried and scared I would flip at her, explaining that she wanted to break up, because she had stopped loving me as a girlfriend, and only cared for me as a friend. I understood, and said that it was fine we broke up, and that she should mention it on tumblr as a just in case - I know some people enjoy gifts. At this time, she said (Quoted):
[22/04/2014 4:14:28 PM] Joel: Can we still be friends? Because I'd hate it if we couldn't be friends.
I agreed instantly, as I seen no reason as to why we couldn't.
Around the next day, one of my good friends told me that within HOURS of myself and my now-ex breaking up, she had hooked up with somebody else. I will admit now, I over-reacted to it. I blew up at her, because I felt hurt and betrayed. To me, it was too soon. It seemed planned she broke up with me, just to go date somebody else. For this, I later apologized.
Now, I told my friends, who were also friends with her and didn't go on tumblr often, as they should know in case they ever decided to draw something for my birthday or something, that drawing a picture of my main character with Joel's was not fair. I explained that we had a fair break up, and that she was also with somebody else, as that to me also seemed important.
And this is where things went downhill
My friend who told me about Joel dating somebody else in hours blew up at her. I am glad he did, because if he bottled it up it would only stress him more than he needs, and it would have been unfair. Joel argued back to defend herself (Which is also fair, I'm glad she did, she doesn't need to lie down and take shit all the time)
And then her boyfriend got involved in the WORST WAY.
Instead of politely saying "Guys, I get it, that was too soon, but lay off, it's not fair to Joel" he flat out said "Joel's feelings should be all that matter"
...Yep. He went THERE of all places.
Saying to my friends who were mad she had the guts to do something that hurt me emotionally and the little self-esteem I had "You need to shut up because your friend doesn't matter."
To the people who know that I have had some serious issues in the past about cutting.
To people who were worried I would do something stupid like I have in the past.
And as such, everything just got so much worse. My friends got even more pissed with Joel's new boyfriend, and because of it, more at Joel.
And then Joel told me she never wanted to talk to me again.
AFTER SAYING THAT SHE WOULD HATE NOT GETTING TO BE MY FRIEND, SHE TURNED AROUND AND TOLD ME THAT NO, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN.
If that wasn't enough for me to feel hurt about, she said that I was not a good friend and nothing that anybody did would change her mind. Before posting a 'reminder' that you can cut toxic people from your life.
Because of timing, I am going with my reasoning of she was meaning that towards me.
As such, I've been very hurt, and very distressed about this.
Not long after her reminder though, I got together with Blackwind, who has been making sure that I'm behaving, not hurting myself and trying to make sure I'm still happy as I can be after loosing somebody who was so close to me.
And that is what you all missed.
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Ohyeah
1 min read
Forgot to mention:
Joel (
) and I are no longer dating
She doesn't want to talk to me (Leave her alone about it, I don't want you guys bitching for her choice.)
Aaaaaaaand
Well
and I are dating
Joel (
) and I are no longer datingShe doesn't want to talk to me (Leave her alone about it, I don't want you guys bitching for her choice.)
Aaaaaaaand
Well
and I are dating
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Whoo random advent raffles.
1 min read
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fav.me/d6dv2vo / lady-tragedy.deviantart.com/jo…
The more of us who join, the higher the point prize'll be! So let's all get in on this; kay?
The more of us who join, the higher the point prize'll be! So let's all get in on this; kay?
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